Chris Russo
Cindy Ord | Getty Images for SiriusXM

Christopher “Mad Dog” Russo has once again demonstrated the power of his next-level thinking when it comes to sports-adjacent topics.

The WFAN legend recently advised an unborn child should be directed toward Mets fandom because they play in the National League, as if the past majesty of the double-switch will mean something to a kid in the 2030s. And now — when asked by Sirius XM colleague Howard Stern — he is boldly surmising that Tom Brady has to be having sex following his divorce from Gisele Bundchen.

Russo broke down Brady’s lot in life Wednesday while making an appearance on Stern’s show (via

Is Tom Brady a good-looking guy and the greatest quarterback of all-time? Yes. We all know he had a wonderful wife, very attractive. You mean to tell me right now that Tom Brady — I understand he wants to study football 24/7, but the Bucs are having a lousy year, they’ve only scored 17 points a game, and you think that Tom Brady, 17 points a game offensively, and this is Tom Brady. That’s nothing! The Giants score more than that. You mean to tell me that Tom Brady is going sexless in the last 18, 19 weeks? I would find that hard to believe. How does that sound? That sound good?

Russo has a point. If the Buccaneers were averaging 24 points a game, that extra touchdown might be enough to keep Brady committed to in-season celibacy. The Bucs would be running away with the NFC South and in the mix for the 2-seed then. But 17 points? Well, a guy has to get out of the quarterbacks room and live a little, you know. Especially when you’re Brady.

Good job by you, Doggie. But be careful. While we understand you have to work at least a little blue whenever you go on with Stern, this stuff is toeing the line of guy talk. And you and the big guy are better than that.

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James Kratch can be reached at

James Kratch is the managing editor of ESNY. He previously worked as a Rutgers and Giants (and Mike Francesa) beat reporter for NJ Advance Media.