The Record

Only in New York, folks.

Only in New York.

From The Post:

Page Six hears that a serial pooper has been stalking the halls of the legendary Shubert Theater — and the last time they struck, a turd appeared in the aisle near Hillary and Chelsea Clinton at “Some Like It Hot.”

A source close to the show insists that it was a regrettable one-off incident.

But another source tells us that the theater’s staff said that the s–t’s (almost) hit the fans at other performances as well.

(…)

The (second) source wildly speculated, “There is someone who is either s–tting in the aisle, or surreptitiously dumping defecation that they smuggled into the theater.”

So The Great White Way may have its own Poopintendent copy cat. Or, according to the first Page Six source, “an elderly person” just happened to have an accident with the Clintons in the building. Who knows where the truth lies. But we’re sure Page Six will keep its ears to the ground. Or eyes. Actually, eyes would be better and safer in this situation.

An amazing kicker to this story, too:

The show has been attracting VIPs including Steven Spielberg, Martin Short, Debbie Allen, Bo Derek, Eddie Izzard, Hank Azaria, Kristin Chenoweth and more. A rep for the show did not comment on the alleged incidents that put the deuce in the forty-deuce district.

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James Kratch can be reached at james.kratch@xlmedia.com. Follow him on Twitter @jameskratch.

James Kratch is the managing editor of ESNY. He previously worked as a Rutgers and Giants (and Mike Francesa) beat reporter for NJ Advance Media.