First of all, who gambles on Ohio-Buffalo or the MAC in general? Second of all, of course it goes way wrong. It’s supposed to.
If you’re reading this, I have a very important message for you: Gambling is a terrible, terrible thing and you shouldn’t ever partake in the action.
If you gamble, you will lose.
If you lose real big, your “buddy” will get a video of you living in complete despair and you’ll post it on Twitter because it’s actually pretty funny:
— James Kelly (@James_Kelly_15) November 15, 2018
Lotta nerve I had to take one-loss Buffalo at even odds. Everybody knows the home team always wins in MACtion games! At least that’s my takeaway from the one MAC game I’ve actually watched this year.
Looking back, maybe it wasn’t the best idea to roll with a team which I’ve watched zero snaps of. Probably an even worse idea to not even look to see who the home team was.
Maybe the worst of my ideas on the night was choosing to watch the game with my friend who apparently lives for my gambling meltdowns.
Watching James suck at gambling/documenting his struggles has been a passion of mine since moving in with him in August. This is my pièce de résistance. https://t.co/qOkgfYZxdE
— Half Nelson Mandela (@robbulrich) November 15, 2018
Sure, why not compare video documentation of my big losses to artistic masterpieces from France? (I assume that’s what piece de resistance is I’m not very cultured in such matters.)
In conclusion, I’d like to take this opportunity and this platform to warn any and all children who may be reading this to stay away from gambling.
More importantly, if you fail to heed my advice, avoid gambling near your friends at all costs. They’ll make sure they record your raw emotions and share them with every mutual friend you have and possibly some family members.
Exception: Betting on Duke. Duke is going to destroy every team and beat every single spread. Bet the mortgage on Duke any day of the week and twice on Sunday.