ben simmons
Brad Penner | USA TODAY Sports

Ben Simmons is back.

And this time, it is for real.


The Nets’ point guard/lightning rod/fashion icon tells ESPN Andscape he is healthy and ready to roll.

“I’m excited because I know I can do it,” Simmons said during an interview in Miami, where he is training.

“Regardless of what people say, I’m a three-time All-Star, All-NBA player, [All-] Defensive Team. I’ve done things. I’m not somebody that hasn’t done anything. … For me to come back and dominate people will be great.”

Well, he has not done much in years. But anyway. Let’s get this post up and then wait for our pals at Crossing Broad to remember they have a twisted obsession with Simmons and his continued growth. From June:

Nothing screams minding your business like telling everyone you’re minding your business. “Hey everybody look at me! Over here! I’m working hard just minding my business. Did I mention I’m working my ass off too? Lol! Chop wood. Carry water! And remember: an apple a day keeps the doctor away!”

He’s a loser. Remember when he was minding his business when he threw up an IG story watching the Sixers losing by 30 on his off-centered TV? After his team just got swept and he didn’t play a second?


I know there are going to be Sixers fans who think we should leave Ben Simmons alone. Congrats on having a healthy mindset and strong morals, but shut up. I will follow Ben Simmons and Carson Wentz into the depths of hell and be there at their every fall. That is the cross I bear for eternity.

Remember, Ben: These people assaulted Santa Claus.

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James Kratch can be reached at Follow him on Twitter @jameskratch.


James Kratch is the managing editor of ESNY. He previously worked as a Rutgers and Giants (and Mike Francesa) beat reporter for NJ Advance Media.