Yankee Stadium
(Photo by Nate Shron/Getty Images)

In one of the most despicable moves I’ve ever seen from a “professional” organization, the Boston Red Sox delivered pizzas to Yankee Stadium. Hawaiian pizzas—with extra pineapple.

Kelly's Comments

I am fuming. I was having a pretty solid day until I got a message from Robby Sabo informing me that the Boston Red Sox delivered Hawaiian pizzas with extra pineapple to Yankee Stadium.

Now I’m having a terrible day and my weekend has likely been ruined as well.

Say what you want about the product the New York Yankees and the Red Sox put on the field this year. One team got the job done and one team fell short.

It’s reasonable to expect that the victor might engage in a little bit of trash talking. It’s all part of the game and sometimes you end up on the wrong side of it.

But this?

Hawaiian pizza with extra pineapples?

I am truly disgusted. The unmitigated gall to send a pizza with pineapples on it to the only place in the entire world where true pizza exists is appalling. This is the most despicable move that a professional organization has ever pulled.

Not only does the mere concept of a pineapple pizza give proof as to why the world is falling apart, but the sight of a true-blooded New Yorker accepting the pineapple pizza from a representative of the Boston Red Sox also makes me want to throw my computer into the ocean and renounce all forms of media.

It’s ridiculous. It’s insanity. I would even go so far as to argue that it deserves to be punishable by at least seven years in prison and a loss of the right to eat pizza ever again.

On the other hand, however, the Yankees just added more material to the bulletin board.

That’s right. The Red Sox just poked the bear. The 2018 Yankees were still groggy from their “rebuild” hibernation because they weren’t expecting to title contenders so quickly.

We are wide awake now.

The 2019 Yankees are going to pillage the city of Boston and turn every Red Sox fan into a shriveled pile of insecure “yea but what happened last year?” garbage.

By the time the bombers are done winning multiple championships and dominating the AL East for ten years, the city of Boston will be in shambles. The state of sports fandom will be so bleak that even Florida team fans will be looking down on a once proud fanbase with pity in their eyes.

Time for Brian Cashman to toss these abomination “pizzas” into the East River and break open the war chest. The Yankees should be spending some Phillies-level stupid money to avenge this blatant act of war. We are a fully operational Death Star and no one is getting anywhere near the two-meter thermal exhaust port.

Lifetime ballplayer and Yankee fan. Strongly believe that the eye-test and advanced stats can be used together instead of against each other.