What’s better than Christmas Eve? Baseball Eve! Let’s have a little fun with a New York Yankees version of “‘Twas The Night Before Christmas.”
‘Twas the night before baseball and all thro’ the league,
All teams were shaking, anticipating the Yankees lineup they would see;
Cashman had crafted his team in the offseason with care,
In hopes that a new World Series ring would soon be his to wear;
The Baby Bombers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of monster home runs danc’d in their heads,
And fans reactivated their Twitters and threw on their caps,
Having just woken up from a long winter’s nap.
We’ll be waiting to hear all of the excitement and chatter
And listen to the haters who tweet “home runs don’t matter.”
Soon Brett Gardner will be chugging around the bases in a flash,
likely sliding headfirst into a first, a decision so rash.
And how about Didi Gregorius, who is ready to show,
Last season was no fluke; he’s ready to go.
And, what to my wondering eyes does appear?
Just two home run kings, causing an incredible cheer.
With Aaron Judge, the motto is speak softly and carry a big stick,
And it works because that baseball gets out of here quick.
And what about Giancarlo Stanton, a newcomer to the Yanks’ game?
He and Judge are likely taunting these opposing pitchers by name:
“Hey! Porcello, now! Happ, now! Cobb, and Sale,
Hey! Gausman, hey! Price, hey! Why do you look so pale?
Don’t be afraid, there’s no hard feelings at all,
We’re just here to smash your sorry pitches over the wall!”
As the big boys plan to make opposing pitchers cry,
There are even more heavy hitters that make those balls fly;
Gary Sanchez may have gotten poor attention for his catching last year
But his power makes up for it; that much is clear.
How about the little guy who is a loveable goof?
Every team needs a Torreyes; his dugout show is proof.
And what about Aaron Hicks, who pimps the best home runs around?
He also doesn’t get injured the second he hits the ground (AHEM Jacoby).
For Luis Severino, a little trust was all it took,
For him to overcome struggles and leave batters all shook.
And the starting rotation brings experience and swagger,
With CC, Masa, Monty and Gray delivering the dagger.
Just face it, American League, there’s no escaping this incredible crew,
It seems you’ve all bitten off more than you can chew;
The bullpen is bringing the heat, as the commercials show
Their fastballs alone could melt the remaining snow;
But if history means anything, they’ve got nothing to prove.
Of course we’ve got D-Rob back for a full season in the city
And he’ll steal all the attention from Chad Green…what a pity.
Naturally we all say our prayers for the wounded and sore
Which of course contains Jacoby Ellsbury. Need I say more?
As Yankees fans look over this roster with incredible glee
They realize they’re witnessing a new dynasty, a new winning spree.
No more thumbs down, which isn’t really a big deal
Except for all those that bought shirts and gear…we know how you feel.
Still, the promise, potential and expectations are great
And, per usual, the Boston Red Sox are the team to hate.
But here the Yankees are on the eve of Opening Day
Ready to defeat every challenger who dares to come their way.
It’s a whole new season with the Yankees being a team to beat,
And the Astros fans are clinging on to their one and only feat.
So get excited, say your prayers and promptly hit the sack
Because when you next wake, New York Yankees baseball will be back!
The Yankees are ready, with a championship in sight-
Happy Opening Day Eve to all, and to all a good night.