It is a bad time to be one of the Yankees’ nerds.
We have more details — but not many — on the upcoming third-party audit of the Yankees that owner Hal Steinbrenner has commissioned. We still do not know who exactly will be doing the auditing. But the scope of the endeavor is a bit more fleshed out.
[T]he investigation will begin in early October, although interestingly, the company conducting the audit will not recommend personnel changes. The analysis will instead focus on process and how the Yankees compare to other clubs.
The categories will include the success (and failure) of the Bombers’ trades in the last decade, the shake-out of the draft picks, including the international draft, the number of games (and dollars) lost to injuries and the state of minor league player development.
The final report will be data-driven and purely objective. None of it bodes well for the Yankees’ analytics department, which is obsessed with exit velocity and spin rates, and has advised GM Brian Cashman to make disastrous trades for Joey Gallo, Josh Donaldson and Frankie Montas, among others.
Of course the thing has not started yet. Set the over/under on manager Aaron Boone’s fate being finalized at Halloween. And hopefully Cashman holds a press conference by Thanksgiving. Also: I am having too much fun imagining some two guys from Deloitte sitting in a conference room to interview a few of Cashman’s quants.
Did you not realize that Joey Gallo cannot hit the ball?
You knew Frankie Montas was on the IL with shoulder inflammation when you traded for him, right?
Jordan Montgomery really had no place in the playoff rotation?
Three words: Isiah Kiner-Falefa. Three more: What the f–k?
Then the silent one, who is actually a rabid Yankees fan, lunges across the table and grabs one of the geeks by his Patagonia vest and starts screaming, “BRYCE HARPER! BRYCE HARPER! SHORT PORCH! SHORT PORCH!”