bartolo colon mets
via Hector Gomez on Twitter

The last time Bartolo Colon suited up for a big-league game in a Mets uniform was in 2016. However, that wasn’t the last time he pitched at Citi Field while donning the Orange and Blue.

Big Sexy appeared at Mets Old Timers’ Day this past August. That event was about celebrating New York’s history and bringing memorable players back to the field for fans to enjoy. Apparently, Colon thought that could’ve been a tryout to sneak his way back onto the 26-man roster.

Here’s what MLB insider Hector Gomez tweeted out earlier on Thursday morning:

I’m not gonna lie, I could sense a little zip on those balls, especially in the second video. But, like…come on, man. I love Colon as much as the next Mets fan, but enough is enough. I wouldn’t call throwing from about 30-40 feet on flat ground “ready”, either.

Colon played for three more teams over the course of two years after leaving New York in 2016 (the Braves, Twins, and Rangers). While he did accumulate nearly 290 innings on the mound, the results were far from good. In 56 appearances (52 starts), Colon posted a 14-26 record with a 6.13 ERA and 1.47 WHIP. This sample size also included him allowing 11.3 hits per nine innings, as well as 1.9 homers per nine innings.

That’s the definition of not great, Bob. But it’s not overly surprising. Sure, he had just finished a productive three-year run with the Mets (3.90 ERA and 1.23 WHIP in 588.2 innings), but he was a finesse pitcher in his mid-40s. Father Time was going to catch up at some point, right?

And now, Big Bart is approaching his 50th (!) birthday at the end of May. The 2023 campaign will mark five years since he last started a season in the big leagues. I can appreciate a player trying to go out on their own terms, especially since so few actually get the opportunity to do so.

But this was funny and also a remote possibility in 2019 when the Wilpons were in charge. Not now. Maybe it’ll just continue being a yearly tradition? The Mets descend upon Port St. Lucie to prepare for another season, but the preparations can’t officially start until someone tweets a video of Colon keeping his arm in shape.

The Mets’ anticipated Opening Day rotation is far from young. None of them are in their 20s, and Kodai Senga is the only guy younger than 34. The last thing the Mets need is to add a 50-year-old to the staff, lol.

Cohen is all about having fun, evidenced by his desire to celebrate Bobby Bonilla Day. It seems like we need a Bartolo Colon Day, too. Let Big Sexy sign a one-day contract with New York so he can officially retire a Met and ride off into the sunset with a great ovation from the Citi Field crowd.

Because let’s face it, it’s quite obvious that taking the hill on Old Timers’ Day is the closest thing Colon will get to actually pitching for the Mets again at this point.

Matt Musico can be reached at [email protected] and you can follow him on Twitter: @mmusico8.

Matt Musico is an editor for ESNY. He’s been writing about baseball and the Mets for the past decade. His work has been featured on numberFire, MetsMerized Online, Bleacher Report, and Yahoo! Sports.