eli manning peyton manning
Courtesy: FritoLay

I’m not happy with either of the Manning brothers.

This isn’t going to be your typical “Ryan Honey of ESNY” piece.

I’m not going to criticize John Mara or talk about how Dave Gettleman was the worst general manager in Giants history or complain about how I don’t like any of the Giants’ quarterback options for 2022.

In this article (which will probably read more like a blog post), I will be roasting the cringeworthiness of a new FritoLay ad titled “Road to Super Bowl LVI” that stars Eli and Peyton Manning. It was awful, so read on at your own risk…

I will be posting different parts of the video and providing my opinion on it little by little.

Shall we begin?

So it starts out okay — Peyton complaining that Eli drinks too loud and Eli complaining that Peyton eats too loud. A typical argument between two brothers.

And then, 24 seconds into the video, things start to go downhill…

“The Bus has got a bus.”

You could come up with something better than that. You’re telling me Jerome Bettis using a bus in some way isn’t an idea that’s been brought up in marketing departments around the country? Give me a break.

“Victor Cruz! I miss you, buddy!”

I don’t think close friends like Eli and Victor Cruz would call each other by their full name, first of all.

Second of all, Eli sucks at acting. He’s the ultimate Giant and has accomplished more than I could ever dream of. But he sucks at acting — I’m sorry.

“Technically, I didn’t leave the room.”

That’s so funny! And clever!

Good Lord, I feel like I’m watching a modern-day Saturday Night Live skit.

Terry Bradshaw — another person that has accomplished more than I ever will — also cannot act.

And the salsa dance? Really? I know it’s Victor Cruz and all, but it’s just so unoriginal to bring that up. Do you know how many times someone has probably asked Cruz to do that dance?

Alright, this part of the video isn’t awful.

Not my fault that “good 4 u” by Olivia Rodrigo is a good song.

But then, Terry ruins it…

So yeah, there’s that. I’m so sorry I made you watch that. Having you witness even three seconds of this horrendous video is such an insulting act to the readers that I care so deeply about.

I greatly apologize — I promise this experience was worse for me.

Sorry for ruining your Super Wild Card Weekend.

Follow Ryan Honey on Twitter: @RyanHoneyESNY

Listen to ESNY’s Wide Right Podcast on Apple here or on Spotify here.

Ryan Honey is a staff writer and host of the Wide Right Podcast.