The New York Knicks blowout to the Orlando Magic can only be explained by way of an orange Willy Wonka suit curse.
The New York Knicks did not play very good basketball against the Orlando Magic. Losing by the score of a lot to not very much, they fell behind big early and couldn’t claw their way back.
The uncompetitive nature of this game came as a surprise to Knicks fans because, for the most part, the young team has been in games to the very end.
Seeing them get blown out from the jump against a team as the Orlando Magic had many fans clamoring for a reasonable explanation and I think I’ve found it:
Courtside at MSG tonight: pic.twitter.com/HupkJQ6295
— Mike Vorkunov (@MikeVorkunov) November 11, 2018
This Willy Wonka looking dude put a curse on the New York Knicks.
Now I know what you’re thinking, “James what do you mean he put a curse on the Knicks? There’s no such thing as curses! He’s just an eccentrically dressed fellow fortunate enough to sit with his feet on the wood. Why would he even want to put a curse on the Knicks?”
I’ll answer that perspective right now.
This guy, for sure, cursed the Knicks. Nobody goes out in public dressed like this unless they’re:
- Reenacting a scene from Dumb and Dumber without any partners.
- Luring a group of children into a candy factory that probably doesn’t adhere to a single zoning code.
- Putting a curse on the New York Knicks.
You’re kidding yourself if you think curse isn’t the most likely of those three options.
Why would this guy put a curse on the Knicks though? It’s simple.
The alternate jerseys used to match the color of his curse-setting suit.
— Nick Metallinos (@NickMetallinos) October 25, 2013
Now they look much better:
City Edition drip 💧 pic.twitter.com/4XXT9BE4cP
— NEW YORK KNICKS (@nyknicks) November 12, 2018
Make no mistake, this man is jealous that the Knicks have cooler jerseys that don’t match the suit he wears when he sets curses.
What’s the obvious solution? Set a curse on the Knicks. Another conspiracy solved.