Congratulations to the @Patriots and the @Eagles, The AFC and NFC Champions! In honor of their upcoming trip to the big game our lights are now shining in their colors. Who will you be cheering for on February 4th? 🏈 pic.twitter.com/IsDZLLbrmG
— Empire State Bldg (@EmpireStateBldg) January 22, 2018
The Empire State Building used to be one of New York’s prized landmarks. That all changed Sunday night as the result of an indefensible decision.
Morons have taken control of the Empire State Building, folks. It’s the only possible explanation as to why one of New York’s most famous landmarks was bathed in the colors of two of New York’s most hated sports teams—the New England Patriots and Philadelphia Eagles.
Yeah, we get it. The Eagles and Patriots will be playing in the Super Bowl. That’s terrific. But why in the world is the Empire State Building celebrating that fact?
Now is it possible that the powers that be at the Empire State Building are simple farmers? The common clay of the new West? Not a chance.
“Morons” is precisely the only accurate description for them—and moronic the only fitting description for their brainless, mind-numbing decision.
Fans of New York’s two professional football teams, the Giants and Jets, dealt with enough anguish, suffering and hair-pulling moments during terrible regular-season performances from both clubs. The last thing they need is the Empire State Building reminding us of how bad those teams were—by celebrating the success of their most bitter, hated rivals.
What’s next? They’ll bathe the Empire State Building in red and white the next time the Boston Red Sox win the World Series? Or blue and silver when the Dallas Cowboys finally reach a Super Bowl, much less win one?
Surely, there has to be at least one person employed by the Empire State Building who, upon learning of this nefarious plot to flip New York the proverbial bird, had this sort of reaction.
And who could blame them? Proud New Yorkers would rather pull their fingernails out, watch paint dry on the wall or sit in rush-hour traffic on the Cross Bronx Expressway than acknowledge, much less celebrate, the success of the Eagles and Patriots.
At this point, there’s only one rational thing to do—move the Empire State Building to New Jersey. Because we don’t want it anymore.