With spring training still in its infancy, baseball fans are out and dishing out those cold, ridiculous takes sure to look hilarious.
The pop of the glove, the crack of the bat, the smell of the grass and hot dogs and the coldness of the takes.
Wanting a pitcher with a 1.90 ERA cut.
Begging someone with 53 home runs to get in shape.
The baseball season is back.
There is nothing like analyzing the entire upcoming 2020 season based on a bullpen session in February.
According to Twitter, Gerrit Cole’s career as a Yankee is basically over before it started and is already a bust.
He also totally hates his teammates.
Looks like a forced relationship thats gonna take steps backwards. We forget Cole came from the cheating Astros. Why did both Cole and Verlander both become the best in the league? I'm sure we'll find out.
— WhiteSammy (@WhiteSammy21) February 16, 2020
Not to mention, Justin Verlander was a Hall of Famer well before he even went to Houston, but whatever.
He also knew about the Astros cheating in 2017, and therefore, despite spending 2017 with the Pirates, he is a cheater. The tweet below has since been deleted; good thing the wonderful world of screenshots exist.
We move to Port St. Lucie, where always skinny Pete Alonso decided to eat food this winter and might as well just retire.
Ugh…. why is he so out of shape?! 😞
— Jonathan Smit (@jonathan_smit05) February 15, 2020
Jonathan Smith might have abs, but Alonso has 53 more major league home runs than he does.
Theodore Larry clearly hates the guy who basically carried the Mets to 86 wins.
Alonso also apparently wants to get hurt and should not practice fielding.
Is he looking to jam a finger?
— Lou katz (@LouVato12) February 16, 2020
And for good measure, he should just not play first base. Now in Rob’s defense, Dominic Smith had a nice season last year, but no. Just… no.
Can’t they move Alonso to 3rd?
— Rob (@RobP209) February 14, 2020
Contrary to popular belief, baseball players actually do things outside of playing their position. That is not allowed.
Gold Glove pitcher Marcus Stroman took some grounders at short and should be banned from baseball for it. He should just be on a mound 24/7.
he should practice his real position
— Kevin🔌 (@Wh1teBoiKev) February 12, 2020
The same goes for J.D. Davis.
Forget this nonsense JD should be getting reps in left field, right field, 3rd and 1st. Showing the manager if needed he can play there.
— Carlos (@chillcarlos) February 13, 2020
Can’t be Gary Sanchez begins the plate… this guy caught the ball
— ray (@raym0nd76_) February 14, 2020
Knowing Sanchez doubt it. Most likely a swing and miss
— Anthony (@Boogaloo_Nation) February 14, 2020
David Stevens is woke, too.
Wooo hooo a grown man paid millions and millions to hit a ball with a stick while scientists who cure diseases stay underpaid and obscured from society.
— ❤️🇨🇦🇺🇸❤️ (@davidstevens111) February 16, 2020
This guy has an issue with Kyle Higashioka, who is fighting for the backup job.
I may be crazy, but that might be why he’s on the bubble to make the major league team.
He has a point though. Brian Cashman needs to get Yadier Molina and Buster Posey as the backups right now.
Or this guy.
‘11 Dean has better pop time
— RoventiniRant (@RoventiniRant) February 15, 2020
It’s no secret that Adam Ottavino struggled in the postseason. But despite his career-low ERA and second-highest K/9, he shouldn’t be near pinstripes.
He shouldn’t be on our team after his 2019 playoff performances
— CCG | AdamFerrari (@TFerrari64) February 15, 2020
And of course, Luis Severino is not focused, nor is he throwing hard. He should just forfeit.
Yeah.. my sister has a stronger arm
— Jaime – Tetracampeón #UC 🐶 (@CruzadoCCP) February 17, 2020
How is throwing a BP session in spring training “dialed in”. Lord. Help me
— NateDogg92 (@NateDogg0811) February 17, 2020
We head back to Southeast Florida. Brandon Nimmo, one of the best eyes in the game, should never pick up a bat again. His .395 on-base percentage, the sixth-most in baseball since 2018 (min. 200 games) is totally worthless.
Nimmo doesn’t matter which bat you pick just swing it rather than striking out looking!
— Manny Rodriguez (@leepatent) February 14, 2020
It also would not officially be spring training without one criticism of the back-to-back National League Cy Young Award winner. Jacob deGrom does not stretch. His season is over.
Listen, I’m not one to criticize a two tome Cy Young Award winner…but that was not stretching my friend
— Alison Kissel (@queen_alisondk) February 14, 2020
Oh, and Yankees, if you’re hiring, I got a guy.
Welcome back, baseball. More bizarreness awaits.