New York Yankees Manny Machado
Robby Sabo, ESNY Graphic, Getty Images

Manny Machado is taking his sweet time deciding on which team he’s going to join for the foreseeable future and I’m not sure how much longer I can handle the waiting.

Kelly's Comments

I am so incredibly tired of the Manny Machado decision saga. It is exhausting. I find myself spending hours and hours a day reading wildly idiotic tweets about the latest in completely unsubstantiated breaking “news.”

Every single person has a “source” that says Machado is going to a different team than the one the last person with a “source” said he’s ultimately destined to sign with.

I don’t even care where he signs anymore. I just want him to pick a team and get it over with.

Join the New York Yankees if you want to be part of a team with dynasty potential. Join the Phillies if you want to be the one on the receiving end of the “stupid money” they promised they would spend. Go to the White Sox if you want to play with your brother-in-law and a plethora of other not so talented players they signed only because you are friends with them.

Just make a decision man.

The complete morons of the internet are draining my faith in humanity at an alarmingly high pace. Every day, I read something online that makes me wish that the power to access the internet would become a privilege delegated only to those deemed worthy enough to wield it.

Sadly, that’s an unrealistic dream and I’ll forever spend my days trying to comprehend how somebody this mind-numbingly stupid is allowed to share their thoughts.

There’s no cure for this kind of stupid.

I need Manny Machado to sign somewhere soon. I very strongly prefer it to be the Yankees.

Machado is the type of player who vastly improves your franchise from his first spring training workout to his last game in your uniform. But I will settle for him signing anywhere at this point.

I may just lose my mind if I have to keep seeing the dumbest of the dumb quote tweet each other about the same thing for three more months.

Also, while I’m ranting about how absurdly annoying this whole process has been, I’d like to take the opportunity to officially request that Dan Clark find himself banished from Twitter forever. That guy’s imaginary source was the first sign major blow to Yankees Twitter and now we’re tearing each other apart.

And if you’re one of those Yankees fans who think that not signing Manny Machado means the team is going to be absolute garbage next year, take a long look in the mirror and reconsider the way you come to conclusions.

Does Machado make the team vastly better? Absolutely. But let’s not act like the New York Yankees won’t be one of the best teams in baseball without him just because that the popular hot take on the internet these days.

Lifetime ballplayer and Yankee fan. Strongly believe that the eye-test and advanced stats can be used together instead of against each other.