For years, Craig Kimbrel has sported one of the worst beards that Major League Baseball has ever seen and I think I’ve finally uncovered the reasoning behind it.
Major League Baseball has always been the home for interesting facial hair. Brian Wilson turned his beard into a marketing jackpot, Goose Gossage had one of the most incredible mustaches to grace the human race, and Dallas Keuchel has, perhaps, the most perfectly squared-off beard that has ever existed.
MLB players with fantastic facial hair are instant fan favorites.
Craig Kimbrel is not one of those players.
Kimbrel has maybe the absolute worst beard in the entire league and I have never been able to figure out why he’s so dedicated to it. I used to think it was just because he was a weirdo who holds his arm weird in the stretch but now, I think I finally understand.
Craig Kimbrel never figured out that his dad’s beard was actually fake.
There is not a chance on this planet that Papa Kimbrel’s beard is real. It looks like a dirty fake Santa beard that hasn’t been pulled out of the attic since the Sox traded Babe Ruth.
It’s entirely possible that this beard was actually part of a Mose Schrute Halloween costume that went horribly wrong and became permanently attached.
Kimbrel looks like Mose Schrute! pic.twitter.com/Cg6z1I5bKy
— Alex (@HouAlex91) October 24, 2018
And that is where Kimbrel’s weird beard comes in. Due to the ill-fated Mose Schrute Halloween costume his dad wore (don’t fact check this, I promise it’s right), Kimbrel decided to grow the same weird neckbeard. The only problem is that little Craig never learned that his dad’s beard is 110 percent fake so now he looks like an idiot for nothing.