David Price
(Photo by Tom Pennington/Getty Images)

Boston Red Sox pitcher David Price has been scratched from his Wednesday start against the New York Yankees after suffering an acute case of overwhelming fear.

Well, well, well … what do we have here.

According to Pete Abraham, David Price is starting to feel that “tingling sensation in his fingers” again, the very same feeling that arose while the New York Yankees were smacking him around in Boston.


Really interesting that specific feeling suddenly arose right before he was supposed to face the Yankees again. And frankly, the timing is nothing short of predominant.

There’s only one possible explanation for this “sudden injury.”

David Price is terrified of Gary Sanchez and the rest of the New York Yankees hitters.

I mean you almost have to feel bad for the guy. Almost being the key word there of course. A former Cy Young award winner who had a fall from grace so drastic that he’s resorted to making up injuries just to get out of facing the Yankees.

Tingling in the fingers? Come on Dave. If you’re gonna lie about an injury at least make it something believable like “sore back” or “elbow tightness”. Pretending to suffer from “Tingly Fingeritis” is just an insult to medical professionals everywhere.

New York Yankees

Better yet, instead of lying about the softest injury known to man, just come clean and admit that Gary Sanchez lives rent-free in your brain.

Admit to the world that when you go to sleep at night, you dream of being a ship captain in the Boston Harbor. Admit that every night you wake up in a cold sweat when your ship is destroyed by El Kraken as he throws all of your valuables over a stupid green wall that has absolutely no business being taller than all the other walls.

Just admit to everyone that you’ve decided to make a career decision. That facing the best offense in the league is not something you think will help your numbers this year. Boston will understand! I hear their fans are really patient and compassionate about things like this.

Or keep faking Tingly Fingeritis and hope that a medical professional doesn’t alert the media that said fake disease isn’t real.

P.S. I hear there’s no Gary Sanchez in the National League. Maybe it’s time to consider relocating?

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