Steph Curry
Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

We covered LeBron James and his All-Star Game picks. Now it’s time to take a peek into Steph Curry’s brain as he makes his choices.

The Roster

PG: Stephen Curry, Kyrie Irving, Russell Westbrook, Kyle Lowry
SG: Klay Thompson, Bradley Beal
SF: Kevin Durant, Jimmy Butler
PF: Anthony Davis, Kevin Love
C: Joel Embiid, Al Horford

First round pick (Kevin Durant):

SC: “He may be a snake, but he’s MY SNAKE. I don’t want KD creating another burner account on Twitter after this, all upset because I didn’t draft him. Plus he needs me to win. That’s why he joined us in the first place, right?”

Second round pick (Anthony Davis):

SC: “I keep hearing AD might want to join us. People never thought Durant was coming over. I can definitely lure AD to the dark side. Maybe it’s time I can get that bum Draymond out of here. I mean, yeah, Draymond can pass, defend, and rebound, but the man cannot score. Let’s see how it feels playing with AD.”

Third round pick (Kyrie Irving):

SC: “Ha, ha, ha! That’s my evil laugh. I’m working on it. Kyrie hates LeBron. LeBron hates Kyrie. I think I hate LeBron. He’s cool, but like yeah, I’m not sure if we’re friends. Maybe we can share a glass of wine together after this and put it on my snap story. That would be fun! Umm, yeah so back to Kyrie. I want to see him cross ‘Bron up. That’s about it. Plus he’s not really a point guard. The man has only had more than six assists per game in a season once. He can start at shooting guard for me.”


Fourth round pick (Joel Embiid):

SC: “Trust. The. Process. Joel seems like a cool guy. Plus, we can say ‘trust the process’ all game long. I’ve always wanted to say that! We were the original process. Wish I thought of that phrase. Dammit.”

NBA

Fifth round pick (Jimmy Butler):

SC: “Jimmy kind of scares me. I have to become his friend before the playoffs so when we play each other he’s all softened up. He could probably lock down LeBron, too. Not like there will be much defense played in this game anyway. Defense is for fools!”

Sixth round pick (Kevin Love):

SC: “YUP! I’m going there. Reaching early for K-Love, but we all know why. He is probably going to be traded soon because LeBron doesn’t like him anyway after Love went to the doctor. Sorry, LeBron. Some of us get sick! Can we trade for Love? I don’t know. No one knows. I’m sure we can make it happen somehow.”

Seventh round pick (Russell Westbrook):

SC: “Russ doesn’t like anybody. Russ really hates KD. KD is on my team already. Yeah, I want Russ. Prove to Durant even more that coming to Golden State was the right choice. Maybe he will stay forever. We could be best friends for life! Oh, I also need to show Russ that I AM THE BEST POINT GUARD IN THE GAME.”

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Eighth round pick (Klay Thompson):

SC: “Man, I love Klay. He’s been with me basically since day one. I don’t think I even have a shooting guard yet. I mean I have Kyrie though .. Yeah, I guess I need a true shooting guard.”

Ninth round pick (Al Horford):

SC: “Boring. He’s so boring. Maybe I can just leave him on the bench. I just need someone to play once Joel goes down with an injury. Whoops, did I say that out loud? Oh wait, no I’m talking to myself. I mean, come on. There is a good chance Embiid gets hurt. Need someone to kind of play defense on Cousins. That’s all Horford is really good for anyway. He tries to shoot, but my eyes bleed every time he shoots a three. It’s just so ugly.”

Tenth round pick (Bradley Beal):

SC: “Need someone to play behind my best friend, Klay. I can’t believe he even made the All-Star Game. The Wizards suck. Fifth in the East! Are you kidding me!? John Wall I get, but Beal? Come on now. Andre Drummond should have been in the All Star Game over him. Ha! I’m just kidding, Drummond shouldn’t be in this game. I know he’s been crying about it over Twitter, though. He might be hanging out with KD too much.”

Eleventh round pick (Kyle Lowry):

SC: “I refuse to pick Draymond. One, because he can’t score. Two, because he just annoys me. Three, I’m tired of being hit in the groin constantly. Last but not least, TERMINATE LEBRON JAMES. Let’s face it, we’re going to play the Cavs in the finals again as long as LeBron is there. Maybe Draymond can play a secret agent role and “accidentally” hurt LeBron’s knee. He could probably just say mean things to LeBron and ‘Bron will be out for the year with a bruised ego. Then, once LeBron is gone we can trade Draymond for K-Love. Oh yeah, so I’m picking Lowry here just because he’s the only one left.”

Now we have an idea as to what is going on in these players’ heads as they’re drafting. Time to see what really goes down on Feb. 17.


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