MoonBigPapi.com is a website calling all New York Yankees’ fans to bid David Ortiz a farewell he’ll never forget.
The New York Yankees will not miss David Ortiz.
After all, he’s a guy who has hit 52 home runs in 236 games against them with a .305 career batting average. Just recently,
Just recently, the 40-year old designated hitter smashed home run number 536 tying Yankees’ legend Mickey Mantle on the all-time home runs list.
To pay respect to his career accomplishments and the countless occurrences Ortiz has destroyed Yankee pitching, MoonBigPapi.com has an idea for what his last game at Yankee Stadium should include:
Fifty thousand moons.
Yes, moons! We’re not talking about celestial bodies. We’re talking about the idiotic, immature, sophomoric and utterly crude display of hostility that is commonly known as “mooning.” It requires two physical movements.
1. A fan turns his/her posterior to the person or thing being mooned.
2. He/she drops trow for five to ten seconds, signifying the span of time it takes Big Papi to run to first base.
Fifty thousand full moons.
Imagine David Ortiz’s great surprise as his Yankee Stadium tribute abruptly turns into an avalanche of red-cheeked butts. (In a perfect world, each bun would have a hypodermic needle poking from it, commemorating Papi’s rise to greatness.) Imagine the moment, caught for posterity – or “posterior-ity” – the greatest mass mooning since – well – Moonies!
All we need is your fanny and five seconds.
Will this happen? Probably not. But it seems as though New York fans are taking his standing ovation request pretty seriously (insert sarcasm).
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Christian Kouroupakis covers the New York Yankees for ESNY. Interact with him and view his daily work by “liking” his facebook page and follow him on Twitter. All statistics are courtesy of Baseball Reference.com unless otherwise noted. Don’t hesitate to shoot him an email with any questions, criticisms, or concerns.