After witnessing how Boston Red Sox designated hitter David Ortiz threw out this ceremonial first pitch, many questions come to mind.

Oh Papi, stop playing.

Stop toying with your fans who fall over themselves in attempt to protect your good name in Major League Baseball.

Don’t be so coy when it comes to your throwing ability.

We assume this first pitch by Boston Red Sox designated hitter David Ortiz was a joke, simply because nobody could throw such a terrible baseball. Right?

Of course we’ve seen some terrible ceremonial first pitches.

There was 50 Cent, that Cincinnati Mayor, and even Michael Jordan who struggled to get the game going on right footing:

It doesn’t matter. These were celebrities.

Papi is a big leaguer. Actually, the man’s a Hall of Famer.

Look at Hanley Ramirez‘s reaction to the pitch. He was the most stunned person at Fenway Park on Friday.

Either Papi pulled a fast one on all of us, or we now know the guy is a brilliant business mind to never take his talents to San Diego, or Pittsburgh, or Milwaukee.

NEXT: For New York Yankees Starting Pitcher CC Sabathia, Timing Is Everything